Reflecting back on Cambodia - Hana's thoughts

Well I feel that we have missed out on things in Cambodia. We did not really experience the culture the way we did in India. It was more like a scratch on the surface but we did not get a chance to submerge ourselves deeper. The main reason is that we did not meet a lot of locals that we could have a conversation with because of the language barrier. Also we have spent a lot of time in the cities, in the touristy parts, surrounded only by tourists. Yet, we did not meet many travelers either. Somehow the tourists we saw in Cambodia were different from the one in India. Either they were very young and/or looked like they had more money, no budget traveling.
Something was always off for me in Cambodia. It is difficult to put a finger on it, but I think it was a combination of things. The border crossing was not a good start, then we got sick and it took a long time to get better. Finally, there was this feeling that we could not trust any Cambodian (I'm talking about the ones who deal with the tourists - in guest houses, transportation agencies, etc.). I felt that most of them were going to trick us and cheat us and a lot of them did.
Also getting information was difficult.

I had a lot of questions about the history and the war, trying to understand what happened under the Khmer Rouge Regime and why. Most of my questions were unanswered while we were there. I had one maybe two opportunities to talk to local people but I felt that they just did not want to talk about it. I know that in Bosnia after the war people were just happy that it was over and did not want to bring up the memories again. But still, there were always some who wanted to talk and wanted to let you and the world know what had happened to them. Hopefully so it would not happen again. But in Cambodia, I felt from my limited perspective, that there was not enough mention about the war. Not enough reminders, not enough monuments, not enough acknowledgment. Except the landmines. Everybody is aware and reminded of that. I have felt that people have just put it behind them and it's like it never happened. That's just what it felt like to me from my limited point of view.
Then when we were in Don Det in the South of Laos, I met some people who work in Cambodia for NGOs and we talked a lot.
Most of what they had to say about Cambodians was negative but I don't want to repeat their words. They did provide some insight into the issue. They think that the Cambodian people have repressed the memories of the war, just shoved it in the back of their minds. The children in schools don't learn about the crimes that the Khmer Rouge committed against its people.
One thing is for sure, the Cambodians don't trust each other anymore. The spirit of community, of friendship is gone. There are gaps in generations. In the countryside, we have mostly seen men in their 20's and 30's and the older ones, 70's and up. The men in their 50's are missing. No wonder since the Khmer Rouge killed or starved to death 25% of the population. Insane when you think about it. Insane what they did and how they destroyed their own people and families. How they got the people to do these monstrosities against their own is beyond me (and again it should not be since I am from a place where a genocide happened). Probably me having these thoughts while I was in Cambodia did not help the mood.